Jupiter Ascending – Just Bad

JupiterFilm and television reviews by our resident autistic film critic Maymay.

Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) was born under a night sky, with signs predicting that she was destined for great things. Now grown, Jupiter dreams of the stars but wakes up to the cold reality of a job cleaning other people’s houses and an endless run of bad breaks. Only when Caine (Channing Tatum), a genetically engineered ex-military hunter, arrives on Earth to track her down does Jupiter begin to glimpse the fate that has been waiting for her all along—her genetic signature marks her as next in line for an extraordinary inheritance that could alter the balance of the cosmos.

This was an okay movie. The action scenes were done very well, and so many things went BOOM! The story bothered me. It was just bad. They made Channing Tatum a space werewolf. He was good, but didn’t even look like he liked Jupiter much less loved her. Mila Kunis got to kiss Channing Tatum but didn’t seem like she wanted to. I think Eddie Redmayne and Sean Bean were the best actors in the movie. I liked the scene with the bees, but I won’t tell you more so I don’t give anything away. Mostly I didn’t understand the movie. The story didn’t make sense to me, other than they were following Jupiter around. I stopped paying attention to the acting and looked at all the stuff going on in the background. I liked that better.