During one particular frought car Journey, ending with John screaming and banging the window with his fists and me crying and banging my head on the steering wheel in frustration, I decided that I couldn’t do this anymore. “Ok ok, you don’t have to wear your seat belt, I give up John. OK I GIVE UP” I put my head in my hands. John stopped banging and screaming, I don’t think he knew why I was upset but from my perspective at least it had calmed the situation. To John I was just a bad looser in his favourite game. “Oh?” Enquired John tentatively……”Yes off” I replied inbetween sobs. “Unclick the belt John, but please just sit still” I was clearly more upset than the situation warranted but the continuing every day stress of trying to do normal things yet failing miserably was tough on both of us. I was beaten by the seatbelt game and I didn’t care. It had been months of trying to make him wear his belt and I was worn out. So what if I got stopped by the police, if they locked me up it would at least be a break from this craziness.
Over the following weeks our car journeys were much more pleasant, we continued to play the seatbelt game with the only difference being that when John unclipped it we both shouted ‘Hurray’. Well I did, John shouted ‘Ay’ and gently slapped my head.
It was during one of these games that I noticed I was being followed by a police car. In fairness to him it must have looked as if John was beating me up as he bounced around and slapped my head. Before long I was pulled over. I wound my window down. “Peez ok” shouted John leaning over me to get a closer look at the policeman. “Lie nana peez’ he continued while I tried to push him back into his seat. “Lie lie lie nana’ squawked John as I managed to poke him in the ribs to move him over. “Shhhh please John, let mummy talk to the man.” Catching my reflection in the mirror I realised I must look very odd, my hair was all over the place from the head slapping and I was red in the face from being crushed by John in his attempt to get a good look at the ‘Peez’ man. I smoothed it down as best as I could and smiled in a way that I hoped indicated that I was in control. Yeah right!
The policeman looked at me closely and eventually asked if I was ok. I assured him I was and that we had been playing the seatbelt game. John immediately obliged by fastening and unfastening his belt and we both shouted Hurray. John then slapped me on the head and squealed laughing. I looked at the policeman and gave him my special smile again. I explained that John was autistic and as such found it difficult to wear his seatbelt. “Lie lie nana” shouted John unhelpfully. To the policeman It probably sounded as if John was telling him what a dreadful fibber his nana was, so I thought I should explain
“He wants you to put the lights and sirens on” I said nodding in the direction of the car. Suddenly the police man started to laugh “Oh I get it, he was saying nee naaa and asking me to flash the lights” Then suddenly and without warning he cupped his hands together and ‘Nee naad’ so loudly and realistically that John and I both jumped out of our skins but rewarded him a well deserved round of applause. He got a bit carried away with his virtuoso performance and continued to ‘Nee Naa’ inspite of receiving strange looks from passers by. John thought was hilarious.
The policeman then went round to Johns side of the car so he could have a chat with him instead of leaning in through my window. John obliged by opening the window, “Hah peas mummy yes ok” he asked as he tried to pull the policeman’s cap off his head. I think he has taken a fancy to your hat I explained as John pointed to his head and then at the cap. “Here you are John” obliged the policeman as he plonked his hat on Johns head and pulled it down over his eyes. Johns squealed, bounced and giggled with delight. “Be good for your mum now John, ok” he said retrieving his hat before turning to me. “Now then about the seatbelt, he should be wearing it at all times but in situations like yours we are flexible. Looks like you have enough to contend with love. I will say one thing though, it’s not good getting your head slapped while your driving, maybe come up with an alternative eh?” I just nodded, what could I say he was absolutely right. “I will, I promise, thank you for being so understanding.” Right on cue, John slapped my head and shouted ‘Lie Lie nana’. I gave the policeman an extra special smile as I drove off.